drizzling today – but at least it’s warm.
I sit, legs
dangling on the sandstone garden wall.
I am trying hard,
to make my final sweet
last, until tea time
yet I somehow
doubt it will.
a man in with Mama who I don’t recall
ever seeing before.
are sitting side by side eating strawberries
I really hope they
save some for me.
Their voices are low – but every now and
I can here Mama laugh.
She doesn’t laugh that
often – I guess
that’s how I notice it so, when she does.
I swallow my sweet, feeling annoyed with myself
for being so greedy.
I wish they would hurry up and finish whatever
it is, they’ve got to say.
Eventually I hear the sound of the
front door being rattled open.
Sometimes in the really wet weather
the door sticks –
Mama hit it with a pick axe once, made
no difference other than it broke the handle.
For months afterwards we used a spoon
to turn the lock until finally an old friend
came to fix it –
‘free of charge’ Mama said!
side by side out they came – he looked full of himself to me.
Mama acted all surprised on seeing me.
Can’t think why – she had told me to sit there.
started making funny head gestures towards the house.
down from the wall – but not before
the man had
strolled towards me.
I could smell those strawberries on his thick beer laden breath. He took some sweets from his pocket, holding them out to me.
nodded for me to accept – so I took them.
soon expertly rummaging
in amongst the bright coloured wrappers
looking for my favourite.
Some of Mamas words got a
little lost as I unwrapped the sweets.
However, I think I heard
‘Mary, say hello to your new Daddy’.
I smiled – at least this one brings me sweets…
I always imagined her
longed neck –
high and low.
Caught on the horizons sidelines
searching for that safe place to go.
How well she finally
homed that landing
with her salt-laden, sunshine smile.
of her mouth angled at ease, a tributary
of waters now long ago laid so wasteful at rest.
That once, straight backed shape –
now eel-like, curved in composure
fragile in this, her new found
sanctuary of endings.
Of all her reasons, left unadorned
in the nothingness of such a lonely
We don’t know yet
that you are dying – when it arrives
embracing me lost, I shall take this place
deeper to me bending our bodies
into day and night.
Sleep shall leave me shallow, remote
in it’s hum of peace-less antidotes.
Décor of early mornings
stirs the reminders – my fingers
holding back the clock
until that final tick tock, foretelling
the ending of our summers concluding