Hologram

I don’t need my friends to come calling
banging on the door, bringing with them their platitudes
and childlike fairy-tales of happy ever after’s.

I enjoy my solitude – alone is me
I get along well, being by myself.
Does that make me sound ungrateful slightly the oddball
with my ladder, not altogether reaching normality’s floor?
Then to hell if it does – I can handle that, its people
who screw me up.

Sometimes I think I am a hologram lacking
of any bodily substance.
Therefore, I close my eyes
much preferring the world from behind this shuttered view
of which the solitude is so breathtakingly indescribable.

I know if I refuse to play their games, they will eventually leave.
Thankfully, I am not like them,
at least there is some sanity –

in my unending madness.

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Mind Games

Sometimes I cry
for there are days when this
seems to be the only way, to discharge
this troubled mind of mine.

There are times, when my feelings
traverse back and forth
like a zip wire out of control.

Often, it comes a calling
(I refuse to offer it a name)
for it is no friend of mine.
Ever
presumptuously garmented, intent on
a long stays vacation.

Oh, I know it well
for what it is –
Name or no name.
It’s self destructiveness, lies deeper
than the creases in the smiles,
of my long hard, fought resistantance.

This kicking back – refusing
to let this un-invited visitor becoming
more
my constant companion, wears me thin.

For I know this battle
is my battle, long.
Always must I be
never willing, to permit
this self, destructive intruder:

To, come inside – and stay…

Completely Dark.

They will never get me mended
put back together again – not completely!
I’ve tried, been to hell and back
and all roads in between that thing
they call reality.

Not sure how,
why or when the wheels
first mounted the pavement.
If honest, I cannot even be troubled
to think about it anymore.
What is there to be gained from being sane?

I’m still me – in name at least.
I pay the bills; feed those who need to be fed
still cry in all the immoral places.
Left is left – right is right
Day is light, and night is – completely dark!

 

Poppy ~xx~

April 6th 2015