Hologram

I don’t need my friends to come calling
banging on the door, bringing with them their platitudes
and childlike fairy-tales of happy ever after’s.

I enjoy my solitude – alone is me
I get along well, being by myself.
Does that make me sound ungrateful slightly the oddball
with my ladder, not altogether reaching normality’s floor?
Then to hell if it does – I can handle that, its people
who screw me up.

Sometimes I think I am a hologram lacking
of any bodily substance.
Therefore, I close my eyes
much preferring the world from behind this shuttered view
of which the solitude is so breathtakingly indescribable.

I know if I refuse to play their games, they will eventually leave.
Thankfully, I am not like them,
at least there is some sanity –

in my unending madness.

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Mind Games

Sometimes I cry
for there are days when this
seems to be the only way, to discharge
this troubled mind of mine.

There are times, when my feelings
traverse back and forth
like a zip wire out of control.

Often, it comes a calling
(I refuse to offer it a name)
for it is no friend of mine.
Ever
presumptuously garmented, intent on
a long stays vacation.

Oh, I know it well
for what it is –
Name or no name.
It’s self destructiveness, lies deeper
than the creases in the smiles,
of my long hard, fought resistantance.

This kicking back – refusing
to let this un-invited visitor becoming
more
my constant companion, wears me thin.

For I know this battle
is my battle, long.
Always must I be
never willing, to permit
this self, destructive intruder:

To, come inside – and stay…