Always

We don’t know yet
that you are dying – when it arrives
embracing me lost, I shall take this place
deeper to me bending our bodies

both
into day and night.
Sleep shall leave me shallow, remote
in it’s hum of peace-less antidotes.
Décor of early mornings
stirs the reminders – my fingers
holding back the clock
until that final tick tock, foretelling

the ending of our summers concluding
consciousness:

from that final letting go
– then you always

sleeping with your cold eyes shut…

Mind Games

Sometimes I cry
for there are days when this
seems to be the only way, to discharge
this troubled mind of mine.

There are times, when my feelings
traverse back and forth
like a zip wire out of control.

Often, it comes a calling
(I refuse to offer it a name)
for it is no friend of mine.
Ever
presumptuously garmented, intent on
a long stays vacation.

Oh, I know it well
for what it is –
Name or no name.
It’s self destructiveness, lies deeper
than the creases in the smiles,
of my long hard, fought resistantance.

This kicking back – refusing
to let this un-invited visitor becoming
more
my constant companion, wears me thin.

For I know this battle
is my battle, long.
Always must I be
never willing, to permit
this self, destructive intruder:

To, come inside – and stay…